Barack Hussein Plants Tree

Barack Hussein Plants Tree

The 2008 Presidential election was marred by accusations that Barack Hussein Obama was a “Mooslim,” “Mohammedan” or an “Islamic.”  In response to the accusations, Barack Hussein Obama redundantly pointed out that he had been going to the same Church for almost 20 years and was a committed Christian.  He told Christianity Today, “I am a Christian, and I am a devout Christian.”

Media personality Sean Hannity of Fox News was quoted as stating, “Barack hoped that if he kept repeating that he was a Christian it would be enough to extinguish the facts and questions creeping up about his associations and history as a Mooslim but we are uncovering leads in his Islamicness.”

Hannity is referring to new startling evidence that sheds light on the direct link between Barack Hussein Obama and what some call his “Mohammedan nature.”

In what experts are describing as another underhanded swipe at American values and mockery of our forefathers Barack Hussein Obama has called for the planting of trees, a well known Mooslim practice.

The President said, “I got into politics for this, to plant trees and one way to conserve energy, reduce carbon emissions, secure our borders and improve our image in the world is for us to plant trees. It’s a win-win for all Americans.”

Not all believe his intentions are to help safe guard America.

“This is an affront to our country and those men and women who died for that flag and the right for Hussein to plant those trees,” said a forlorn Joe the plumber in Real Town America, Texas.

He went on to say, “Let me say it plain for ya: George Washington cut down trees!  We all know he cut down the cherry tree and Husseini wants to plant ‘em. That ain’t Christian, that ain’t American…what more evidence do ya need that he’s a Mooslim?”

George Washington

George Washington

According to experts on Global Terrorism and Islam such as Robert Spencer of the Foundation for the Reconquista of Anatolia, “The fact that Barack Hussein Obama was educated in a Madrassa [Islamic seminary] should have set alarm bells going…In 2004 when Obama was running for the Senate in Illinois, I was the only one drawing attention to this, like Paul Revere. I was shouting ‘The Mooslims are coming! The Mooslims are coming’ but no one paid any attention…they never do.”

Spencer speculated that the tree planting was evidence of a Mooslim practice known as Taqiyya, or dissimilation, “Taqqiyah is pretty much a practice where Mooslims deceive infidel Christians and others by hiding the fact that they are Mooslim while outwardly apostasizing. It is all part of a stealth Jihad, and based on the Koran and Hadith [Islamic sayings] it seems planting trees is an important part of that. Barack Hussein Obama is hiding his Islamicness while appearing as a Christian–this is Taqqiyah-Tree-Jihad.”

When asked what the connection was between the planting of trees and Obama being Mooslim, Islamic Scholar Daniel Pipes barraged us with Islamic quotes saying,

“It’s quite simple.  If you only go to the texts they speak for themselves.  Look at what their Prophet Mohammed said, If a Muslim plants a tree.. and a bird, a person or an animal eats from it, it will be counted as a charity for him.“(Bukhari and Muslim)

Whoever plants a tree is rewarded by Allah as much as the produce grown in that tree.’ (Musnad)

‘Whoever plants a tree and diligently looks after it until it matures and bears fruit is rewarded,’ (Musnad)

‘Whoever plants a tree and it matures, Allah plants a tree in paradise for that person.’ (Musnad).

Kahanist chairwoman Pamela Geller author of the forthcoming book Obama’s Father was Malcolm X! vented, “We gotta cut them off at the knees. These barbarians! It’s civilized man versus the barbarians and we got the chief barbarian in the White House now. The Mooslims are taking over–wake up America!”

We contacted the White House for comment and were told the President had “other pressing engagements”.  But a source from the President’s staff disputed the Islam experts telling us on the condition of anonymity that “Barack is just a wily politician and he really knows the threat we are facing and in fact this is a tactical move on his part.  On the one hand he is reaching out to the Mooslim world and saying, ‘Hey I understand you, look I plant trees,’ on the other hand he knows that Islamic texts state that during Jihad it is prohibited to cut down trees.  Barack wants to plant as many trees so that when the terrorists come they won’t be able to fight properly.”

Disclaimer:This article is satire but reflects what’s known as “truthiness.”